Are You a Critic or a Cheerleader? A Parent’s Checklist

Sarah McGrath
Nov 25, 2024
2 min read

This checklist is designed to help you reflect on your approach to supporting your teen during their GCSE preparations. It will help you identify whether you’re leaning more towards being a critic, a cheerleader, or a mix of both (sometimes conflictingly). Finding the right balance is key to effectively supporting your teen.

1. How do you respond to your teen’s efforts?

A) "You should have tried harder. This isn’t your best work."
B) "I’m proud of how much effort you’re putting into this."

2. When your teen gets something wrong, do you...

A) Focus on the mistake and tell them they need to fix it right away?
B) Highlight what they did well first, then gently guide them on how to improve?

3. How do you handle your teen’s frustrations?

A) "You just need to push through this. Everyone finds this hard at first."
B) "I know this is tough, but you’re making progress. Let’s tackle it step by step."

4. Do you compare your teen to others?

A) "Your friend [Name] is managing fine, so why can’t you?"
B) "Everyone learns at their own pace. Let’s focus on your progress, not others."

5. How do you motivate your teen?

A) "If you don’t study, you’ll never pass your exams."
B) "Let’s set a goal for today and celebrate when you reach it!"

6. What’s your reaction to a disappointing test result?

A) "This is unacceptable. You need to do better next time."
B) "It’s okay to make mistakes—we’ll work on this together and improve for the next test."

7. Do you focus more on effort or outcomes?

A) "Your grades matter most; I don’t care how you get there."
B) "I value the hard work you’re putting in. The results will come in time."

Scoring Key

Mostly A’s: The Critic

Your approach may lean toward being critical, focusing on results or pointing out what’s wrong. While this can motivate some teens, it often leads to feelings of frustration, anxiety, or low confidence.
Tip: Try to emphasize effort and improvement rather than outcomes. Recognize small wins and encourage their progress.

Mostly B’s: The Cheerleader

You’re likely a source of positive reinforcement for your teen, helping them feel supported and encouraged. This boosts confidence and reduces stress but may sometimes overlook the need for constructive feedback.
Tip: Balance your cheerleading with gentle corrections when needed. Highlight what they can improve without undermining their confidence.

A Mix of Both: The Conflicted Parent

You may send mixed signals, sometimes encouraging your teen and other times being overly critical. This can confuse your teen and make them unsure of how you view their efforts.
Tip: Aim for consistency in your responses. Acknowledge both strengths and weaknesses in a way that motivates improvement without overwhelming them.

Reflection

Whether you’re a critic, a cheerleader, or somewhere in between, the goal is to strike a balance. Teens thrive when they feel supported but also receive constructive feedback to help them improve. By adjusting your approach, you can better help your teen tackle GCSEs with confidence and resilience. 💪✨